Snape: The Tease of Hogwarts 3
by Elfzilla
Summary: Last of the trilogy. Snape gets crabs. Hilarity ensues. Please R&R.


It was a nice, spring morning in The Great Hall, the air was filled with the smell of sausages and porridge. Severus sat down at his regular seat at The Head Table, next to Minerva McGonagall. He was just about to help himself to some orange juice when flew in the post. Severus didn't look up, he seldom got mail yet today he did. A regal looking barn owl hopped around the jugs and bowls and hooted merrily at him, a letter tied to her leg.

"Thank you," said Severus, offering some toast to the owl and she took off. He turned the letter over and saw the address was neatly written with black ink. Snape looked around at the other professors, the didn't seem to have noticed. He slipped the letter into his breast pocket and got up from the table, speed walking from the Hall as fast as he could without being noticed.

He slammed the small door to his chambers, taking a seat.

"A letter...from...Percy Weasley?"

_"Dearest Severus,"_ it began.

_"I will be having a short visit to Hogwarts within a week. I was hoping that we could meet up, talk about old times and perhaps have some fun._

Sincerely,

Percival Weasley."

"Well, Percy," spoke Snape out loud, "I never refuse a spot of fun."

_Later on that day..._

"UGH! YES! MORE! MORE!!!"

"And I'm spent..." Snape got up and George Weasley rolled over, feeling drained yet satisfied, a big grin spread across his freckled face. Severus stretched his arms and arched his back, opening the door to the bathroom to get in the shower. He stepped into the luke warm water, letting it wet down his long, ebony hair and trickle down his pale skin.

'What all does Percy have in mind?' He thought to himself. 'A simple tumble? A little S and M?' he started grinning, leaning his arms against the wall, his muscles twitching. 'Hmm...he's probably still a virgin, knowing him. Oh well...fresh meat...' He grinned even wider then looked down.

"Well, Hullo," he greeted his erection which was standing proudly at attention. He smiled...then noticed something...rather odd...extremely...odd...

_The Malfoy Manor..._

"LUCIUS! You have to help me!" Snape pleaded.

"Why me, Severus?" Malfoy asked, raising his eyebrows, displaying a handsome grin.

"Well...cause...I can't really go to anyone else..."

"Hmm...true...I am a genius..." He tossed his long ivory hair, lighting up a cigar. "What's the problem, dear boy?" The corner of Snape's mouth twitched.

"I have...lice." Lucius narrowed his eyes, walked over, ran his fingers through Snape's hair, inspecting closely.

"No, that's called dandruff."

"Not there!" Snape shouted, his face turning red.

"Where then?" Asked Malfoy, grinning evilly. He clearly knew, just wanted Snape to say it.

"Um...down there..." said He, looking down to the floor.

"Ah...I see," Lucius leaned close to Snape, who backed away a bit, "I always thought you shaved."

"George Weasley liked the Au Natural look."

"How sweet," growled Malfoy, his voice dripping of sarcasm, "Well, drop 'em. Let's have a look then." 

"No!"

"Do it, whore!"

"Well that sounded familiar..." Snape reached down and unlaced his trousers and dropped them.

"Hmm...still going commando?"

"Shut up, Malfoy." Lucius leaned closer, grabbed Snape's hips and forced him to face him. 

"Hmm...well I suggest shaving your..." Malfoy looked up and made eye contact with Snape. "Pubic Afro."

"It's not an Afro!" Snape argued.

"Humph. Then what do you like to call it? Your 'jungle of love'?" He finger quoted. 

"Shut up, Malfoy."

_Later..._

Snape didn't have any time to shave when he got back to the castle. His chin was already blue with stubble and he kept his right hand in his pocket to scratch himself. He walked into the dungeon, quieting everyone down.

"The Professor looks mighty dishevelled, doesn't he?" One of the Slytherin girls whispered to her classmate.

"I said to settle down, Miss Garletts." He turned his back and flicked his wand to the black board. "There...get to work." He sat down behind his desk, stuffed his hand down his trousers and scratched himself happily.

Another Slytherin girl approached Professor Snape's desk. She dropped the paper she was holding and bent over to pick it up. When she looked underneath the professor's desk, she clearly saw his leg twitching and his hand moving to and fro inside his pants.

"Um...Professor Snape?" He started to sit up straight in his chair, his right hand still under the table.

"Yes, Miss Lynch?"_ (Author Notes: Yeah, I had to do a cameo. Hehe.)  
_  
"First of all, thank you for letting me having an extended deadline on the Veritasium essay," she handed it to him and stepped back. "...Are you alright, sir?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Said he, taking the essay with his left hand, the other still hidden from sight. "It's good to see your cold is gone, I'll mark this tonight."

"Thank you, sir." She walked back to her table, pretended to do up the buckle on her shoe but was really taking another peak under the Professor's desk.

_Again at the Malfoy Manor..._

"OW! You cut me, you imbecile!"

"Sorry...never really done this to someone else..."

"Do you shave often?"

"Yeah, normally. Narcissa really likes it."

"Um...cool..." There was a long pause, "May I see?"

"No! You just want an excuse to see my beautiful wingy!" Snape snorted.

"Wingy? What else do you call it? Princess Sofia?"

"Shut up, man."

"Make me, Ribbon boy!"

"Oh yeah?" Began Lucius. "Well...you're a big...meanie...head..."

"Ha ha. One for Snape, zero for Ribbon Boy."

_The Next Day..._

The day had finally come when Percy was supposed to arrive and Snape was prepared. It was in the evening and Severus was waiting for Percy in The Entrance Hall, dressed to kill. Long, knee high boots, form fitting trousers, loose black shirt with his hair cascading down narrow shoulders. Percy arrived, setting down his bags. 

"Erm...good evening, Professor." Snape raised a thin eyebrow, almost causing Percy to fall to his knees.

"C'mere, kiddo!" Snape grabbed Percy's tie and dragged him down to the dungeons.

So Percy and Snape had, happy, gay, sweaty lovin' causing the Slytherin Common Room, which was close to Snape's chambers to shake with Percy's moans...making all the Slytherins incredibly horny so they all made it like rabbits. Yay.

As for George Weasley, Snape gave him detention for giving him lice. George had to lick Snape's boots until his tongue turned black.

As for the rest of everybody, the lived happily ever after...Yay.

THE END


End file.
